The History of Cinco de Mayo*
Millions of years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, a young boy in Mexico was out playing in the tar pits near his home. As he was poking an animal trapped in the tar with a stick, something fell out of the sky and hit him in the head. When he woke up, he realized that he was bleeding and needed medical attention. Being that it was before medicine was invented, that meant the only thing he could do was rub some dirt on it and hope he didn’t get an infection.
He reached out to grab some dirt and drew back his hand when he felt something soft and squishy. He looked down to see a mushy green thing. Because he was a moron, his first instinct was to put it in his mouth. Fortunately for him, it wasn’t poisonous. It was tasty, though it needed something. He grabbed some of the green fruits and staggered home.
As soon as he got home, he burst into the kitchen, startling his mother.
“What’s wrong with you, boy? You scared me half to death! And you’re bleeding all over my kitchen! Why didn’t you rub some dirt on that cut?”
“Mama, look what I found! I call it a ‘Sky Falling Fruit’!”
“Don’t be ridiculous! We’re from Mexico, it should have a Spanish name. Call it an Avocado.”
“That’s a good name. I tasted it after it hit me on the head. It was delicious, but it needs a little something.”
“How about mashing it up and adding some chopped tomatoes, onions, garlic, lemon juice and salt?”
“How do you chop lemon juice?”
“Don’t get smart with me, boy. Just do what I said.”
“We can eat these with tortilla chips and call it Guacamole!”
“That’s an excellent idea!”
And that’s what they did. To celebrate this amazing discovery, the proud people of Mexico decided that the 5th of May would forever be known as Cinco de Mayo – which literally translates to “Sky Falling Fruit, I mean, Avocado Discovery Day.”
To show their mutual love of Guacamole and each other, Jon and Christine chose to get married on Cinco de Mayo and celebrate their union (and love of Guacamole) with a big party every year.
This year was no different. Except for the fact that the party was held on May 1st.
* Some of this may not be true.
Loading...